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I met many single women in Beijing, who were not single by choice.

It’s not that they are ugly, clingy, boring or have other major flaws, quite the contrary.

They are pretty, sometimes outright gorgeous, smart, have good jobs, and are fun to hang out with.

“Don’t do it – or at least don’t expect anything” “There is no dating in Beijing, just casual hook ups” “Getting laid is easy, finding a boyfriend is hard” “Dating is so difficult in Beijing” “You can’t even get a one-night stand here” Those are some comments I got when I conducted my utterly unscientific survey on this topic with a handful of single women in Beijing, ranging from their twenties to forties. But they have been here for a while, usually way over a year, and been through the cycles of dating frustrations.

“Beijing is like an endless spring break” is a description I heard from more than one guy. And then often the relationship happens, when one or both of the partners are about to move away from Beijing, of course in different directions.

And they agree with the women, Beijing is not a relationship place. The typical notion of dating, meaning going out for dinner or a movie, having a drink afterwards, talking and some kissing, maybe even repeat before having sex, that kind of dating does not seem a common occurrence in Beijing.

One-night-stands or short casual flings seem the norm for many guys before they move on to the next women.

One friend with an actual boyfriend of 2 months commented that 2 months is long for Beijing.

Even if a guy has a girlfriend or wife, it often doesn’t keep him from going after other women.